Ok, today it’s going to be something a little different from me. I’m going to put myself in the shoes of a matchmaker and dating guru. Two thoughts spring to mind immediately when I do this. One is that I was set up by a friend, a matchmaker if you will, 20 years ago when I met my husband. So what skills did she use to match us? Well, I think the knowledge of both of our personalities primarily was why she thought we would hit it off. We had a similar sense of humour and I think that was a big reason why she thought we’d get on. This would be one of the top things I would try to ascertain as a matchmaker I think. Being able to laugh together as a couple is so important. Take for example someone who is very dry or sarcastic and you are the opposite, that might make a really tricky match after a short space of time.
Secondly, I thought about the TV programme Married at First Sight. Have you seen it? There was recently a new series on channel 4, it’s a really interesting if extreme concept. I think its, more of the behind the scenes matchmaking by the experts that I find really interesting to my consider for my matchmaking skills. What makes them think a couple are a perfect match? I do think that then going on to marrying without ever meeting and knowing anything about one another has got to be recipe for disaster. There are experts from many different fields including religion, mensa, anthropology and sex therapists.
Ok, so here would be my matchmaking ideas.
- Background – I think people coming from similar backgrounds is so important. I think you are definitely informed by your experiences if you have come from a similar background. Sometimes your background can greatly affect your world view. For example, having things that you can relate to with one another’s childhood. However, with this, there are instances that this might not be as important if you do have very clear communication and understanding with one another.
- Non-negotiables – Things like smoking and other lifestyle choices. Wouldn’t you rather know these from the outset?
- Living close by – Whilst I know for some a long distance relationships works, I don’t think it can ever work for in the long-term.
- Previous relationships – Have they been married before or had a long term relationship? Why did this end? Sometimes shared experiences like this can make the bonds stronger, and if not shared it can lead to not really understanding where someone d coming from. Also, the couple will be more likely to understand one another’s insecurities if they’ve experienced it themselves or have more empathy.
- Commitment – I think it’s also important that you both go in looking for the same thing. If what you want marriage and children, I would want to match someone up to you with exactly those end goals. Also within this could be your thoughts on
I read a really funny article in Marie Claire (Maura Kelly) recently with some matchmaking tips that I found incredibly funny. Heres a quote :
Explain thoroughly. – I always try to let people know exactly what they’re in for, so nobody walks into an evening only to feel like I’ve sold him or her a bill of goods. So I will say things like, “He’s a little short for me — but since you’re three inches shorter than I am, I think you guys would look great together.” Or something like, “He’s into God, and I’m not — but maybe that won’t bother you as much as it bothers me.” Or, “Honestly, he’s not devastatingly handsome — but he is so hilarious and so sweet and so successful that I think you really should meet him.”
This has got to be the best idea to double-check I had made the perfect match. So if everything else looks like the two people are well matched, anything I felt might not work, I’d work into the conversation this way. Love it, I know feel fully equipped to start my new (completely made up) venture!
My new soulmate matchmaking desk setup.
So those would be my matchmaking ideas. If you are looking to find your perfect match. I may not be available for your matching needs…ha! My recommendations would be to look for a free dating site, which takes all of that hard work out of finding your perfect match like WeLoveDates.