This is a collaborative post with Single and Mature.
Ok, so even though I am 47 and been married since I was 29, crikey has it really been 18 years? There’s quite a lot I know about online dating would you believe. I have quite a few friends who are the same age as me and are single and dating. If there’s something my friends and I are very good at, it’s chatting about what’s going on in our lives and asking one another for advice. Especially when it comes to men. So in today’s post, I wanted to look at some of the things we talk about in terms of dating when you are Single and Mature, including safety.
Of course, for single men and women looking for love in later life, it can be tricky to know where to start, particularly if you’ve recently come out of a long-term relationship and your flirting skills are well a little rusty shall we say. I know mine would be none existent! The good news is that mature dating can, in fact, be easier than when you were younger. Of course initially its all new and scary, but once you find your feet you’ll soon realise that you have a lot of life experience and a good sense of who you are and what you want out of life. So you can then concentrate on things like flirting and building your confidence.
Heres some of my (and let’s face it my good friends) dating site tips :
Use a dating site that is for mature daters.
I know my friends have had more success if they choose that kind of website. They feel like the other members are more likely to be looking for a true romantic connection. Some dating sites are actually free, however subscription ones tend to a more tailored service with an older database.
Take your time.
As much as you might want to jump in with both feet at first, it really is OK, to take things at your own pace. So whilst practice when dating is going to help you feel less awkward going forward. It’s important to wait for the right kind of connection with a person, rather than just any connection.
Trust your judgement
Intuition is something that we talk about a lot when we chat about dating. If it feels off, it usually is. Inconsistencies often give a bad vibe when it comes to honesty, trust your inner radar!
Here are a few things to look out for :
- Asking you things that makes you feel uncomfortable.
- Wanting to quickly move you away from the site and chat on email/text.
- Talking about money, asking for money or assistance of some kind.
- When it feels far too rushed and you don’t feel comfortable or ready.
- A personal crisis, that doesn’t ring true.
Enjoy yourself but be safe.
One last piece of advice for dating as a more mature person is to enjoy yourself. Try not to plan too far ahead or feel pressured to settle down quickly, but again, if it feels right, it feels right! Having some time to date more casually can be a real self-esteem boost. Remember that this is a time for you, keep doing all of your other activities or start them if you haven’t already so that dating isn’t everything you have to look forward to. I do feel that this helps with not concentrating on one thing, and getting stressed when it doesn’t work out.
In terms of safety, try daytime first dates. Which may seem strange, but my friends feel these are the way to go and work for them more than evening ones. They recommend things such as meeting for coffee, walks in the park and picnics. If evenings work better for you, how about thinking out of the box with tickets to a gig, play or how about a jazz club. All of which can be coupled with chatting in a bar before or afterwards.
Finally, if you try to do things for you, and enjoy it the dating side can just be the extra thing in your life that’s interesting, fun and the cherry on top on whats a fulfilled life anyway.